The "Fifty Shades" trilogy has brought BDSM and, more to the point, bondage gear truly into mainstream life. But with increasing curiosity comes increasing misconceptions. From misunderstandings on consent to assumptions that it is painful or needs really expensive apparatuses, many myths might discourage people from exploring this deep, loving, and consensual kind of play. Let's get down to some common misconceptions about bondage gear and BDSM so that you can understand it better and have a deeper experience.
Misconception 1: BDSM Is Abuse.
One of the most pervasive myths about BDSM is that it equates to abuse. This misunderstanding may at times result from the way BDSM is depicted in porn, with whips, spankings, and gags front and centre. There is sometimes a fear that BDSM is just an excuse for abusers to harm their partners.
There are some critical distinctions between BDSM and abuse, however. BDSM is hence an activity that involves mutual consent; what happens and how it happens are both negotiated and talked about by both parties. As contrasted with BDSM, abuse is something that is non-consensual and involves infliction of harm. What underlines the very core of BDSM is consent. For instance, a submissive partner could be spanked or whipped and feel a thrill run down their back or even sexually aroused by the act because it is something they like and to which they have consented. Without this consent, actions such as these would be abusive. So, here the main difference is in mutual agreement and respect.
Misconception 2: BDSM is Always Painful
Another very prevalent misconception is that BDSM is associated with pain. This could be because of various incidents of erotic films focused on spanking, whipping, and other plays of impact. However, the reality associated with BDSM encompasses much more depth.
Though "Pleasure Pain" sometimes translates literally from BDSM in other languages, very few, if any, media portrayals of the aspects of the scene including pleasure, affection, and bonding exist. You can personalize the experience in BDSM if you and your partner are so inclined. While some enjoy the intensity of pain, others might get off on softer sensual activities like tickling, blindfolding, temperature play, or feeding play. Not all of it involves pain, and the focus should always be pleasurable for both partners.
Misconception 3: Submissives Have No Say
There's a wide belief that in BDSM, only the dominant partner is allowed to have fun, and the poor submissive has to comply with every command. This couldn't be further from the truth.
As I've stated before, BDSM is brought on by mutual consent. Before performing or doing anything, the dominant must obtain full consent from the submissive. It simply means that what is to be done in the session has been talked about and agreed upon beforehand. Contrary to the myth, the submissive does have a say in what goes on. His boundaries, limits, and desires are just as important as those of the dominant. If a submissive does not consent to an activity—like spanking—it should not happen. In BDSM, the enjoyment and safety of both partners are of paramount importance.
Misconception 4: BDSM is a sign of mental illness.
Since BDSM is much kinkier than other forms of sex, it causes some people to assume that those who like it are mentally sick or have been abused in the past. Such stigma is not only incorrect, but it is also very dangerous for all concerned.
It does not indicate mental illness to engage in BDSM. Several psychological studies have shown that people who enjoy BDSM are just as mentally healthy as those people who do not. It is simply another way for people to express closeness and explore their sexuality a bit more. For many, BDSM is part of a consensual and enriching sexual life about which people can be very forthcoming; it is a way for them to connect with their partners on a deep level.
Misconception 5: You Need Loads of Equipment to Do BDSM
Sensationalized depictions in movies and media often portray BDSM as an elaborate affair, requiring some sort of "playroom" equipped with loads of expensive bondage gear and other toys. In this way, the belief that BDSM is something an average person would not be able to do is perpetuated.
In reality, you won't need some special room or all types of gear to get into BDSM. Whatever you are going to need depends on what kind of play you are into. For instance, if you are interested in bondage, then just a simple rope will suffice. If you're into temperature play, then you'll want a low-temperature candle. If you're interested in spanking, then you don't even need any equipment at all; your hands are perfect for the task at hand.
At Sexy Devil, we believe in the power of knowledge and the importance of consent. Such a large selection of bondage gear may help you express yourself safely and in a confident manner through the practice of BDSM. If you're just a beginner or look to improve your collection with more pieces, keep in mind that the best equipment in BDSM includes communication, consent, and respect for each other. Happy explorations!